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What To Say To Your Loved One Who Is TTC

Our friends and family may have the best intentions, but sometimes their advice hurts more than it helps. We’re sharing some tips on what to say to a friend who is trying to conceive.

Avoid Asking Pregnancy Related Questions. Some of the most frequently asked questions to couples around the holidays are “When are you going to have kids?” “Have you started trying yet?” “When is it time for another?” These seemingly innocent questions have a significant impact on couples who are trying to conceive. It is just another reminder of what they don’t have and how hard they may be trying to achieve their goal. Instead, try asking “What’s a new goal you are trying to achieve?”

Don’t give unsolicited advice. Although this may seem like the appropriate response, offering advice can actually be hurtful to couples trying to get pregnant. Simple statements such as “Just relax, once you stop thinking about it you’ll get pregnant” can be insulting to a couple who has undergone months of fertility treatments without success. If a friend or family member opens up to you about their struggle to conceive, try replying with a statement of encouragement like “Infertility is tough, and you are being so strong!”

Don’t minimize the problem. When trying to conceive, it can be difficult to hear sentiments like “Everything happens for a reason”. It is important to remember that infertility is difficult on everyone, whether they express it openly or not. Trying to grow a family without success can be hurtful emotionally, physically and even financially. Instead, try offering support by saying “I’m sorry you’re struggling, and I am here for you.”

Let them know you care. Above all, if you know someone who is struggling, show them you care. There are so many ways to show you care such as sending a card or gift, or offering your time to help them run an errand.  A small act of kindness can help those struggling with infertility to feel less isolated and lonely.

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